I sing because I'm happy.

I totally blew an audition today. With a capital B.

For those of you who aren't singers, trust me when I say the National Anthem is a difficult song to sing. 

I had it in my head. I knew the words, knew the right note - and yet I still completely screwed it up. 

Okay, so I'd only decided to audition about 24 hours' prior to the moment I stepped in front of that poor panel of judges and tried to sing.. but this is one of my worst moments. And the only reason I'm sharing my embarrassment and failure with all of you is because it's actually funny.

One of the local radio stations is looking for someone to perform the Anthem before its big concert bash this weekend. I have tickets to said concert and heard about the audition last night.

Now seeing as I believe I was completely overlooked by a certain local baseball team for a shot to perform this past season, I decided to go for this opportunity. No matter that I had a big day ahead already with our new shows (more about that in another post - tomorrow?) or that this is a big emotional day for me - no, I just had to pile on. 

Heck, I can't even remember the last time I had a live audition. And that's saying something, seeing as I have done quite a few in my 24 years on this earth.

I left work with the belief that I wouldn't make it in time to try out. The station was only offering 60 audition spots -- and I was already 45 minutes late. 

Nonetheless, I walked in - picked up my #27 sticker - and prepared to sing a capella as requested. 

There were several kids ahead of me, along with several stage moms. No matter how long I've been away from the audition process, some things never change. I just laughed it off and tried to focus on the notes. 

I've done this before. Auditioning is nothing new, and neither is singing the Anthem. I managed to walk in and belt it -- and it started out fantastic. The judges seemed pleased.

Until I hit the key change. I knew I'd screwed up. I started too high - rookie mistake. Too bad, since I was a rookie about 20 freakin' years ago. 

So I cracked. Not once. No. Twice. And I still smiled. Heck, I wanted to laugh. Those poor, poor judges.

Everything in me said "STOP." But that's not how this works. You just keep going and push through, because the show must go on. I knew what would happen before it happened.

I think I owned the rest of the song. Or maybe I'm just trying to convince myself I didn't blow it as badly as I might have this time. Hey - at least I got the words right!

The last time I auditioned to sing the Anthem was for that one team - and it was on video. (In ONE take, thank you) Believe it or not, I sent that to Jess after I sent it in for consideration. She said it gave her chills. Let's be honest - today's rendition would've given her the giggles.

Bad moment aside, it really did feel good to really sing again. I haven't done that in ages. To think - I used to spend hours singing in college. And then it all went to the wayside for journalism. Now I don't really talk about it. Yeah, people know I can sing - or they've at least heard the rumor - but it's not a huge part of my life anymore.

I love my job - really, I do. But something tells me it's time to find my voice again. 

I just hope I can leave the cracked notes behind. Ugh.