I went to the movies today.
I can count on both hands how many times I've been to a theater over the last three years. It takes a lot to get me to go, because I'm nervous. I still have the occasional panic attack, like the one a few weeks ago. I thought I heard a gunshot on the midway at the State Fair. It was a game, but I still burst into tears.
But today was a big deal for me. Today was the first time I didn't panic in the theater.
I didn't look at the emergency exit. I didn't plan my escape route. I just let myself be. It took three years, but that's some major progress.
Don't get me wrong - this doesn't mean I'm fine and I'm going every week again. But it is a step towards healing, which is a process.
Anyway, I just felt this was a small victory that deserved some documentation and acknowledgment.
