It's about love, not hate.

Two beautiful smiles, taken from this world just a few months apart.

The sweet little boy on the left is Noah Pozner. He should be celebrating his ninth birthday with his twin sister today. The sassy redhead on the right is my best friend, Jessi. She would've been 28 next week.

Instead, they're frozen in time as a 6-year-old and 24-year-old, as victims of gun violence in 2012.

But this post isn't about what happened to them in Newtown and Aurora. This is about how they're remembered three years after their deaths.

I never had the pleasure of meeting Noah, but his sister, Danielle, is now a friend of mine. This morning, she posted a message on Facebook calling for acts of kindness in his honor today. Of course, I'm happy to oblige. I'm hoping this post will inspire others to do the same.

Coincidentally, today marks one week to Jessi's birthday. Every year, I write a letter to her on this blog as my way of working through the pain that rears its ugly head every so often, especially around important dates such as November 27.

The year she was killed, I decided to put together a social media project in her honor called "Mustaches for Jessi". It was my way of honoring her memory (and love for mustaches and social media!) in a happy, creative way. So many people participated that year - and it brought me so much joy when I was hurting most.

Last year, I dropped the ball. And now that we've been able to close the door on what happened in Colorado with the ending of the trial this year, I've tried to put it away in my heart, but never forgotten her.

I broke out my mustache scarf today, just as my own personal reminder that she's still close to me in spirit. Then it occurred to me that her birthday is just around the corner - it snuck up on me, seeing as I can't even believe it's November.

So rather than push for mustaches all month, I decided to stick to just her birthday. This is where I ask for your help to make that happen.

If you're interested, all I'm asking for is your best mustache photo. It can be real, fake, a finger 'stache - whatever you want. I have a Twitter account set up (@Mustaches4Jessi) so I can share them with the world. I would rather the world remember her for something she loved, and not the moment that ended her life.

Because to be honest, I need to do something that's about love, not hate.

I spend so much of my workday writing about the hateful, awful moments in our world. Why not contribute to the beauty that we tend to forget? Noah and Jess were people we loved long before they were part of the headlines.

I hope you'll help me celebrate both of their lives.

Emily
@emehlee
@Mustaches4Jessi
#ily

Small victories.

I went to the movies today.

I can count on both hands how many times I've been to a theater over the last three years. It takes a lot to get me to go, because I'm nervous. I still have the occasional panic attack, like the one a few weeks ago. I thought I heard a gunshot on the midway at the State Fair. It was a game, but I still burst into tears.

But today was a big deal for me. Today was the first time I didn't panic in the theater.

I didn't look at the emergency exit. I didn't plan my escape route. I just let myself be. It took three years, but that's some major progress.

Don't get me wrong - this doesn't mean I'm fine and I'm going every week again. But it is a step towards healing, which is a process.

Anyway, I just felt this was a small victory that deserved some documentation and acknowledgment.

Remembering Roanoke

Someone pointed out recently how long it's been since I wrote a blog. What I woke up to this morning was enough to make want to cry, then pull out my laptop and just spill everything on my heart.

Two lives, taken by a gunman. 

Sadly, this is something I could've written for my newscast just about any day of the week. What made it sink in: they're in my business and this happened on live television.

Courtesy: Twitter

I didn't know Alison Parker or Adam Ward, but it wouldn't be a stretch to say I could have worked with them at some point in our careers. And this industry is so small, I knew I was bound to know someone who knew them. (I do.) Their lives were ended this morning by a man who used to work in TV himself.

I suspect this could be true of other businesses, but in TV, I promise you: we are family. You spend long hours with people who get to see everything about you - good, bad, and the ugly. You spend holidays together, you work in high stress situations, and you get to celebrate your big moments, like an exclusive interview - or heck, just free donuts in the newsroom. Sometimes they're your roommates, your drinking buddies, your best friends, or something more.

I sit in a control room five days a week and watch my reporters & photogs prepare to go live. I talk to them - sometimes we joke, sometimes we snap at each other, but there's an unspoken belief that you'll see each other again and that things will be fine. What happened this morning in Virginia is proof that is not guaranteed.

I've seen people yell at my coworkers, throw things at them - it's awful. And there's nothing I can do for them. I've even had to write a formal statement for police about what I saw from the control room as one of my reporters was assaulted. It's terrifying to feel so powerless. I can only imagine what it feels like for those in the field. 

I can't imagine being in that control room this morning. And in a few weeks, I will be that producer in the control room early in the morning. 

Adam, the photographer, was engaged to the morning show producer. Alison was in a relationship with another reporter. My heart breaks for both of them, especially because I know firsthand how it feels to lose someone you love to a gunman. (Coincidentally, the person who killed my best friend is also all over Twitter today because he was formally sentenced to life in prison.) 

If you've watched the video, I'm sorry. If you haven't, please don't watch - and please do not share it. Without knowing them, I can already promise you that Alison and Adam were more than what happens in that video. They deserve to be remembered for more than that. And their loved ones deserve not to have that moment thrown in their faces over and over again.

This is about Adam and Alison, the people who loved them, and the realization that at any moment, we (or someone we know) could be one of them... this is not about the person who ended their lives.

I wish I could walk into the WDBJ newsroom today and hug every single person there. I know I'm nobody, but that's my personality. This hurts me, and I wish there were something I could do for any of them. Instead, my heart is with them.. and maybe in some way, my words, thoughts, and prayers will be felt there. Television news is a small business, and they are like extended family. 

Courtesy: @visitvbr

This post also wasn't intended to forget Vicki Gardner, the third victim in this shooting. She is also in my prayers, and assuming she does recover physically, I'm praying for her emotional recovery. It will be a long one.

Hug a journalist. Remember the collective "media" is made up of people who see some awful stuff. We feel it... and sometimes, we can't just write about the news - we're part of it.