I live to write and write to live, so sometimes I just have to get everything out of my head and out onto a screen/piece of paper.
My heart is broken, because once again, more families have been forced into the club I was thrown into almost two years ago. It's a group no one wants to be a part of, yet it grows every day.
Another shooting at Fort Hood. I remember the 2009 shooting, because my sorority big sister and her husband were stationed there and I was terrified they might be affected. It was horrifying having to be the one to break the news to her after learning she was safe off post and had no idea what happened. Thankfully, her husband was okay.
Five years later, I've lost someone I love in a mass shooting that made national headlines. I know what it's like to have a piece of your life destroyed and the damage echoed all over TV in the microscope that is the media. And I'm also a part of the media.
Every time I hear "active shooter", I feel sick. I'm thrown back to July 20, 2012 and the pain that has become a regular part of my life since. The feeling of loss, grief, and anger is all too familiar. Working in news just makes it harder, because you can't look away.
On top of that, it hurts to think of a shooting on a military installation. I'm a military brat who spent the first ten years of life on several bases around the U.S. and loved living on them. I always felt safe. When my dad left the military and we moved offbase/back to Texas, it was a bit of a culture shock to live without SPs and security gates.
I feel for all of the families involved in today's tragedy, but the ones I really want to hug are the kids. The children and teens who live on post, who didn't know if their parents were okay.. I want to hug them. I can't imagine how frightening it must be, especially for those who may be aware of the 2009 shooting. I hope they find some peace and security.
I'm also praying; not just for Fort Hood, but for our country. This has to stop. It's ridiculous, senseless, devastating, and just wrong. I can't say I have all the answers to solve the problem, but obviously we're not doing something right.
I would never wish what I've been through on anyone, but with the way things are going, more people are going to understand that heartbreak. This shouldn't be normal, and yet it almost is.
